The first time I ever felt imposter syndrome was the first day of my freshman year of college, in my Statistics class. I was the only person of color in my class. It also felt like everyone else was so much smarter than me.
I watched as the professor asked a question that I felt was impossible to answer. Several hands shot up. One student eloquently answered, to which another quickly made a solid counterpoint.
As the class went on, I felt more and more buried in the background – there was no way I would ever contribute when I felt so out of their intellectual league. I don’t think I spoke even once in that class.
I’ve been through four years of college, several postgrad jobs, and now, a few years of law school. However, I don’t think I ever got over my imposter syndrome.
Despite a few academic and career-related successes here and there, it has taken a long time for me to actually believe that I deserved any of them.
Even in law school – it took me a year to get comfortable asking questions in class. With even just the thought of speaking in class, I would feel my face get red, my whole body would shake, and I could no longer think clearly or logically. My anxiety would hijack any chance I had at contributing in class that day.
I still stutter in class sometimes or when giving a presentation. I feel like I blackout if I don’t know the answer to a professor’s question. Even at work – sometimes the anxiety to perform overwhelms me so much, I feel dizzy.
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the belief that you do not deserve your accolades and achievements, regardless of how hard you have worked. You might feel like you are not as intelligent or competent as others believe you to be, or as you believe you should be.
According to the Journal of General Internal Medicine, up to 82% of people face feelings of imposter syndrome.
People with imposter syndrome are often extremely intelligent and may even have many evident achievements.
And yet, they fear that eventually, others will “figure them out.” If they achieve something, they attribute it to luck or some other factor that is likely irrelevant. They might believe that others are just as skilled or intelligent as they are.
What causes imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is typically triggered by situations where you perceive your skills are either being put on display or questioned. This might be a new or important event outside of your comfort zone, such as the first day at a new school or job. It can also come up when you get a promotion or demotion.
It can also be triggered when you work with someone you perceive to be smarter, more confident, or more experienced than you. It can come from watching others on social media, or listening to them discuss their evidence of success (i.e., high grades, an impressive job title, or a special award).
It can come from hearing someone else’s presentation, public speaking, or a review of someone else’s performance. But it can also come from receiving praise for, or being asked to explain something you did.
It can come from thinking that one small mistake means you’ve completely failed. It comes from thinking that success is supposed to come easily, otherwise it doesn’t count. It is also highly correlated with perfectionism and neuroticism.
Apparently, imposterism isn’t connected to anxiety, depression or low self-esteem.
Imposter syndrome is usually deep-rooted and comes from early childhood circumstances. For example, growing up with inconsistent praise or high expectations from your guardians. Additionally, first generation, underrepresented students and professionals often feel more imposter syndrome than others.
What does imposter syndrome look like at work and school?
At work, imposter syndrome might feel like you’re going to be exposed as not good enough to be there. You might overprepare or work longer hours to make up for your “gaps” in talent or intelligence.
You might avoid speaking in a meeting, even if you have a good question to ask or idea to contribute. You might constantly think that you don’t deserve your role and don’t measure up to your co-workers.
At school, you might fear that you don’t belong there. You constantly feel behind, even if there is tons of evidence of your success. You avoid asking questions in class. You believe that other people understand the material right away, and that you take a lot longer to get it. You dread presentations because they will “expose” you. You might have negative thought patterns such as, “if I were actually smart, this wouldn’t be so hard.”
How to trick the imposter syndrome away
Here are a few different ways to help ease imposter syndrome:
- Keep evidence of your success
If someone sends you praise in a message, take a screenshot. If you win a competition, keep the award certificate in plain side. Hang your good grades on a vision board. When imposter syndrome comes around, read the receipts! You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
- Name the required skills
When you succeed, instead of thinking, “I got lucky,” think of the skills required to get to where you are. If you think, “this required good communication, persistence, critical analysis, and discernment,” your brain will accept those concrete skills more easily than trying to feign confidence.
- Talk to someone about it
If you feel that imposter syndrome is really getting in the way of your success, consider speaking to a professional. Cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to help in reframing the thoughts that trigger imposter syndrome.
- Visualize a confident version of yourself
What would someone who belongs in your position do next? Borrow the confidence from that person. Or, picture the most confident TV or movie character you know. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what they would say next, and how they would say it.
- Detach from the outcome
Doing something hard and making a mistake does not mean you fail. It means you’re and doing something important, and growing while doing it. Moreover, give yourself permission to be average, or even below average. Imposer syndrome feeds on perfectionism, and allowing yourself to make mistakes and be human starves it.
- Seek a sense of belonging
A feeling of belonging somewhere fosters confidence. Make small talk with those near you within the first few moments. Starting early and saying anything at all can take the pressure off of speaking later on. Bonus points if you engage in an interesting conversation – distraction will ease any anxiety you may have.
- Develop a plan for when you fail
What is the worst that can happen. Write it down. Now, write down what you will do if the worst happens. How will you feel? How will you move forward, most importantly, can the worst be a learning opportunity? Bring out your delulu creativity and make it so that you’re the winner even when you lose.
Wrap-Up
If you’ve ever felt imposter syndrome at work or school, I hope this helps.
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